How to look stylish in your 40s (and beyond)

You're here! Congratulations because that is Step 1: Caring enough to want to make a change. Here's the thing, nothing changes if nothing changes. The biggest roadblock is if you aren't fed up ENOUGH with how you are feeling about your style (and likely yourself), you will never make a change. That's not you though, my friend, because you found this blog and opened it!  Step one is complete. Let's celebrate that!

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Here's what you already know. Style in your 40s and beyond (we will call this "midlife" going forward) is...different. 

👉Our bodies are changing. Things don't sit where they used to.

👉Our priorities have changed. Most of the time, we aren't out all night at the bars.

👉Our lives have a new focus, oftentimes around our family.

👉Fashion and clothing is not typically geared toward women our age.

It's commonplace for women who are in midlife to feel like they are lacking style or being left-behind, but that doesn't have to be our path. I'm going to share the steps you can take to move forward feeling styled for your life and in a way that will make you look back at pictures one day and say:

"That is when I learned how to dress for me. That is when I started to feel beautiful and SEEN again!"

 Without further ado, the next step is to:

Develop a Vision

You absolutely cannot skip this step. When you close your eyes and think about how you desire to look and feel, what do you see? Okay, friend, I want you to ACTUALLY stop right now and close your eyes. Begin to see yourself in one year or five years down the road. What are you wearing? Who are you with? Step into the woman that you see and discover how she feels. Write it all down. Visions are powerful. When you engage as many senses as you can into this activity, it helps it become real. 

Set aside some time to do this. It's powerful.

Dress your Body Shape

You absolutely have to embrace what has changed or shifted about your body. Maybe you have intent to drop a few pounds, but until you have an actual plan in place for those changes to occur, you cannot ignore reality. 

Let me tell you a story about a woman I know. This woman is in her mid-70s. She works out with a personal trainer 2x per week. Her physique has always been lean, she has always had a fast metabolism. Outwardly, she looks very fit. However, she has said to me on many occasions that she wished she could change where the fat on her body settled.

Regardless of your fitness level, regardless of your metabolism, as women who are aging (which is better than the alternative!), we have to accept that our bodies will change, no matter what we do. So, instead lets learn to appreciate them for the amazing things they do for us and give to us. Just think about the plethora of ways our bodies serve us each and every day! It's a miracle.

So, figure out what your body shape is and dress to accentuate what you love and camouflage what you don't love.

Discover your style personality

When it comes to the styles and silhouettes that you truly love, what are they? I love looking to celebrities or street style images of women our age and to figure out what do I love or not love about what they are wearing. 

For example, is she wearing a striped button-up poplin blouse, is she wearing a specific style of jeans, is she wearing rounded or angled prints, is she wearing a specific color scheme, are the pieces she is wearing textured? Pay attention to this level of detail, then determine if you are attracted toward a Dramatic style, a Natural style, a Classic style, a Romantic style, a Creative style, or an Elegant style.

Then, tie this back to your body shape. How could you make this style work for your body shape?

Out with the BAD

When you set foot inside your closet, you need to get rid of any item that makes you feel bad about yourself. Do you have items in your closet that no longer fit that you have been holding onto until you "lose the weight"? Do you have pieces that were gifted to you that you have never loved, but felt guilty for getting rid of? Do you have items in your closet that every time you reach for them, something feels "off", so you never wear them?

These are all important things to release. Not only is it freeing to clear a bit of the clutter, but it's also a breath of fresh air to walk into your closet and not have an item that brings up bad emotions staring you in the face!

Modern vs. Dated

How many pieces do you have in your closet that are more than 5 years old? Probably quite a few. Now, I am not saying that anything that has been in your closet for more than 5 years is dated and needs to go, however, they deserve a second look.

Silhouettes change quickly. Take, for example, the two images below. These are both DATED styles.

On the left, the collar style AND the sleeve style with the button tab are dated. On the right, the waterfall cardigan is dated. It is an awkward length and the fitted style is not modern. Instead, these are more modern silhouettes:

The blouse has volume to the sleeves and crew neck collars are more current. While, for a layer, instead of the waterfall cardigan, we are thinking ELEVATED, so this vegan suede trench is fantastic!

Pairing a dated item with a current item will date your look. Knowing the silhouettes that are modern and getting rid of the pieces that aren't will serve your style well. Now, before you tell me that you will wait for it to come back into style, I need you to understand that when it does, an element of it will be different, so it will still be irrelevant. If you would like to understand more about what's current and what's dated, you can grab my Fall Fashion Forecast here.

Choose Trends wisely

You should absolutely, 100% never try to add too many trend-driven items into your closet. For one, trends are just that....trends, and they will pass. You do not want a closet filled with items that will make your style dated quickly. For example, the voluminous sleeve top above is a trend. Volume in sleeves is happening, but volume like that will probably be around for a couple of years, max. 

Second, you need only give the time of day to the trends that you LOVE. Not every trend will (or should) speak to you. Just because your best friend is wearing it, doesn't mean you should. Unless you love it.

A quick caveat to this. When a Trend is Macro (AKA long-lasting) like the Wide Leg pants, DO embrace it early on. Keep up-to-date with all of this by sticking with me! 

Invest in better quality

When we have arrived to mid-life, the time for poor quality garments is over. Honestly, they don't feel good and they don't last long. When it comes to clothing, I want you to live by the mantra "Less is more". I would much rather you purchase one high quality piece that will last over years and go with all of the things in your closet than purchase 5 lower quality items.  Not only does the quality impact your overall look, but you feel better about yourself when you know the clothes on your body were investment pieces that you LOVE to pieces.

You have to get out of the mentality that if you shop the sales rack and can get 5 pieces for $100, you scored. It couldn't be further from the truth. You just tacked your self-worth and vibe into 5 for $100 instead of "Damn! I look great and deserve this $150 blouse that makes me glow!"

Find Brands you love that love you back

Remember earlier when I was talking about Fashion being made for the younger set?  Well, explore and find brands that are meant for our age group. There are A LOT of brands who cater to us. We have our own paychecks and make a vast number of purchase decisions for our families. We are a powerful demographic!

As you explore different brands, make sure that they cater to your personality style and your body shape. Touch and feel the fabrics and make sure that they feel elevated. We aren't hiding anymore, we want to be SEEN, so we need to choose our clothing wisely so that we are not only prepared to be seen, but excited about it!

Never downplay the impact of accessories

The little things are the big things. The accessories that you choose can make or break your outfit. I always say that you have to think about your outfit from head-to-toe. This is everything from the necklace or earrings that you wear to the shoes on your feet and the handbag in your hand or over your arm. When you are getting dressed, you can positively impact your overall look by making sure that you have the right accessories teamed up with your outfit. Show your personality and have fun by adding these non-negotiables thoughtfully.

Let's play dress up again!

Most of us remember playing dress up as a little girl. I felt so "grown up" when I would put on my Mom's clothes and heels and even a bit of makeup (and lipstick...ALWAYS lipstick). I would think, "So this is what it's like to be grown up!" So, isn't it interesting that as a "grown up" we aren't having fun getting dressed anymore?  For many women, it's just a means to an end.

We have got to stop thinking of it like that!

It's time to bring the fun back into getting dressed and play dress up like we did when we were kids!  Get into your closet and try to put some new, fun looks together. What can you do differently than you usually do?  Many women get stuck wearing a "uniform", or the same outfits on repeat, over and over again until dressing has become ho-hum and dull.  Let's flip the script and get creative in our closets!

The little last minute tricks are worth their weight in gold!

Details are important when it comes to a well-rounded style. Too often, we throw on a top and a bottom and head out the door, but that is dressed, not styled. Embrace little styling tricks, like cuffing up the sleeves on your jacket (and INSTANTLY look like you lost 10 pounds!) Give your blouse a half tuck. Make sure you always have a third piece on your body, like a vest or blazer. Simple things that take less than 5 minutes make your outfit look intentional. 

It's time to put in a bit of effort for yourself. Yes, for yourself. We are all time poor, but I promise, if you want to look stylish in your 40s and beyond and you want to feel like you are worthy of all of the great things that are meant for you, putting in the extra 30-45 minutes each day will be invaluable. When you give yourself the gift of self care, you step into your day and out into the world feeling much more powerful, feeling much more driven, and feeling much more valued, seen, and heard.

You are worth it!

Stylishly Yours,

Michelle

Curious to know if you are making the most common style mistakes (and how to fix them if you are)?  Get my free guide here!

Would you like to work with me to completely transform your style and step into the next era of your life as the magnetic woman you are meant to be? Check out my package called The TRANSFORMATION. It's a complete style package from vision and style development to closet edits, shopping, and digital closets. It's pretty awesome, I have to say. Learn more here.