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A Life Lived Fully - the Happiness Connection


 What truly makes for a happy life?

You may be wondering why a Style Coach is talking about happiness.  But, here's the thing:  under the umbrella of being a Style Coach, I seek to help my Clients to overcome self-doubt, build confidence, AND find happiness. This applies not only to your closet (and YES, that definitely plays a role), but to life in general!  Are you surprised?

My Clients hear me say repeatedly that what I love most about what I do is when I see a woman clothed in confidence, literally, that is where I find my joy.  We all deserve to feel beautiful and to reflect the beauty we have on the inside OUTSIDE.  But many women struggle with seeing that inner beauty or see all of the perceived flaws on the outside and that translates to how they feel about themselves inside.  And, I work on that with my Clients one-on-one.

Back to the elusive "Happiness".  It really can be fleeting, right?  One moment you are walking down the street feeling the sun shine on your face and grateful for all you have and then the next moment, you get a phone call and all of it seems to disappear.

The truth is:  Happiness takes work!  Our mindset is a key factor to how much happiness we experience in life.  Is it true that money can buy happiness?  Well, studies show that to a degree, it is true, but that Mo' Money does not always mean Mo' Happiness.

Relationships are a key component to true happiness.


One of the KEY factors to finding happiness lies in our relationships and our connections.  And with Social Media on our phones and the constant scrolling we find ourselves doing, it leads to a false sense of connection.  When we put the phone down we feel left wanting....more.  Did you know that 1 in 5 people are lonely? Think about that the next time you are in a room of people.  1 out of 5 is living a life that is not fully happy.  Is it you?

But there is a much bigger problem at-play, especially since the pandemic.  We are less committed to social events.  Play the movie in your head with me here:  You get an invitation to go to a friend's house for a girls night in.  It's happening in 2 weeks.  You go through thoughts in your head like this "That could be fun.  The calendar is open.  But, I'm not sure how I'm going to feel that night.  Will I be tired from work that day?  What if the weather is crummy?  Who else will be there - will I have the energy to be with the others that are invited?".  You reply "Maybe".  When the day rolls around, sure enough, it's been a long day and you just want to stay home, put on a pair of sweatpants and watch a movie. And it's easy to cancel plans because you shoot off a text and don't have to even talk to anyone on the phone and hear their voice.  We've all been there, right? 

Here's the flipside to that thinking.  How many times have you dragged yourself out of your house for something you have committed to and after the fact, you feel lit up inside, you feel joy, and you are so happy that you went?!  That, more often than not, is what happens!  This is what I refer to as "soul filling joy".  You wouldn't know if you were missing it, but WOW!, when you experience it, you are so grateful you did.

Another problem we encounter today is that we wear "Busy" as a badge. Saying "I'm busy" is a status symbol.  Busyness makes us feel important and needed.  It's as though something is wrong with us if we aren't busy.  But what are we busy doing?  You need to make time with friends a priority in your life because it is truly detrimental to your health.

Loneliness has the same impact on mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, making it even more dangerous than obesity.

                                                            Douglas Nemecek, MD 


Here are some of the impacts that friendship has on our lives:
  • Friends give you a sense of belonging to combat loneliness
  • Friends can boost your self-esteem
  • Friends help combat stressors in your life
  • Friendship may help cognitive decline
  • Friends help us cope with grief and hard times
  • Friends can support us in a way not even a spouse can
  • Friendship can lead to better long-term health
  • Friendships can lower your mortality risk

The bottom line is this:  Prioritize social experiences over being busy.  Pull yourself out of your comfort zone and if your calendar is clear, RSVP "YES".  Stick with your commitments to friends and you will continue to be invited.  Your health and your happiness depend on these things.  Don't be a backseat driver when it comes to your own personal happiness!  Take the wheel and steer yourself down the road to happiness!

Stylishly Yours,





PS - if you are interested in reading more about friendship, I highly recommend Shasta Nelson's books!  You can find them on Amazon.
Sources:  
https://www.everydayhealth.com/emotional-health/social-support.aspx

https://www.webmd.com/balance/news/20180504/loneliness-rivals-obesity-smoking-as-health-risk#:~:text=Loneliness%20has%20the%20same%20impact%20on%20mortality%20as,left%20out%20at%20least%20some%20of%20the%20time.





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