We have found ourselves in an ever-casual world post-pandemic. As a Style Coach, I hear it all the time: "I'm not going into the office, so I just don't need nice clothes.", or "I have littles, so I just don't get dressed up.", and the hardest one to hear is "I'm in the process of losing weight and I don't want to spend money on clothes until I've reached my goal." And, to be very honest, these statements and any like it make me sad. Why? Is it because it impacts my business? Sure. I'm an honest person so saying anything other than that would not be authentic. But more than ANYTHING, it's because of what these women are saying TO THEMSELVES about themselves.
Let me back up for just a quick minute. Before I dive into self-image, let's talk about external image.
Did you know that a first impression is made within the first 7 seconds of someone seeing you? 7 seconds! And did you know that once that first impression is made, it takes a long time to change it. How long? Well, a Harvard study found it takes 8 subsequent positive interactions to change a negative first impression. Do you know what that first impression is based off of? Two things: your body language and your outfit.
So knowing what I just shared, I want you to stop and think for a minute about what you have been walking around and telling people in the past week with what you wear. If you have been getting dressed and putting outfits together - YES, GIRL, YES! Keep doing that! If you have gone out in leggings and t-shirts everywhere, let's pause for a moment and take a deeper dive back into how what we wear makes us FEEL.
There is a scientific term for this and it is called Enclothed Cognition. It's relatively new, about a decade old, but the definition is this: the systematic influence that clothes have on the wearer's psychological processes. Easily said, our physical appearance effects our perception.
Go back in your mind to a time when you were down and out with the flu. Your body was doing the hard work of healing and NO ONE who is sick wants to do anything but lie in bed. We don't shower, we don't put on makeup, we don't do our hair, and we stay in our pajamas. Survival mode, right?! Now think about when you finally turned that corner and decided to hop into the shower, put on a little mascara and lip gloss, and wear something other than your pajamas. It LIFTED you, right?! The act of taking those small steps made a big impact on how you felt. THAT is enclothed cognition!
So, let's think about the three statements I started with:
"I'm not going into the office, so I just don't need nice clothes":
If you have a job and you had a presentation to give, I can almost guarantee without even knowing you that you would stress out a bit over what you were going to wear for that presentation. You would want to present the right image AND you know that what you choose to put on your body will either give you confidence or will make you feel like hiding. The same is true when you are working from home. If you have a big power meeting virtually, the clothes on your body will effect your performance and your confidence.
"I have littles, so I just don't get dressed up":
If you are a stay-at-home-mama and you wear leggings and t-shirts all day because you are chasing around littles, I get it. But what happens when you are invited to go out with friends for lunch or a GNO? What if your partner wants a date night? What do the clothes in your closet say? Are they current? Do they still fit? And if not, how will that make you feel as you try to scrounge up an outfit? Probably like you don't want to go out anymore!
"I'm in the process of losing weight and I don't want to spend money on clothes until I've reached my goal":
GIRL, you are doing the hard things. You are eating right and exercising, but one of two things is happening: it's coming off slowly and you have relegated yourself to sweatpants because that's all that still fits OR your clothes are hanging off of you ready to fall off. What do either of those situations do to your confidence? You deserve to feel good now, to look good now, to reward yourself now while you are doing the hard work!
There is tremendous value in how you FEEL, which is impacted by what you wear. When you don't feel the need to put any focus on YOU, to take care of yourself by putting on your makeup and doing your hair and wearing clothes that make you FEEL GOOD, what are you telling your subconscious?
I'm not worthy of the time and the energy it takes to prioritize myself.
Is that the message that you want to tell yourself? Don't live life everyday like you do when you are sick: in survival mode. You are WORTHY of feeling amazing and allowing yourself the time, money, and energy it takes to feel your value and know your worth.
How you show up matters - not only in how you are showing yourself to others, but even more importantly, in how you act and feel about yourself. We can do all of the hard things, we can take care of the ones we love, fight the daily battles of life and be power players in business and in life. Now, let's SHOW UP for it by dressing, looking, and FEELING the part!
Stylishly Yours,
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