The One Thing You are Saying that is KILLING your Style & Self-Esteem

 Imagine holding onto a beautiful, vintage style key and sitting in front of you is a door with a world of possibilities behind it.  Now, imagine the feeling of putting that key in the lock and not turning the key to walk through the door.  There is so much amazing potential behind the door and someone has given you the key, but you say to yourself "I am not going to turn the key and open the door.  I can't possibly be ready for what's on the other side.  I will never open the door because I'm comfortable with my life now and I don't want it to get better."

Can you imagine???

How much are you missing out on because you are stuck in a loop of closed-minded thinking?  What could be possible for you if you saw the key as a gift to explore new places you have never been and to experience things you have never experienced?

I find that as we get older, many times, we become more set in our ways and tell ourselves and others that "I have been doing it this way for so long.  I'm not willing to change at this point." When we are young children, we don't have that lack.  Somewhere along the line, we develop a sense of stuckness. As kids, we are constantly trying new things.  Our parents tell us to try a new food and we do and sometimes we discover a new food we love.  A friend asks us to play a game and they you said, "I'll try it."  Kids learn to ride bikes.  They tip over and fall down, but what do they do?  They get back up and try again.  We, as adults, encourage this in them, but when it comes to what we do in our own lives, we cannot even fathom trying something new or getting back up after we fall.

Live as if you were to die tomorrow; learn as if you were to live forever.

~Mahatma Gandi

What could be possible for you on the other side of comfort?

Nothing great or exciting happens inside of our comfort zone.  That butterfly feeling you get in your stomach when you are about to try something new can be the one thing holding you back from greatness.

You may be wondering:  What does this have to do with style?

And to you, my friend, I say A LOT!  As a Personal Stylist, I listen to the words that women say about style to each other from a different perspective than most.  While I am a caring and understanding person and Stylist, I find myself feeling frustrated when I hear how women talk when it comes to their style.  I hear many women say with frustration that they "don't have any style", but when I make suggestions on styles to try or tell them a particular style is dated, I hear a lot of "I will NEVER wear that style of pant" or "I will not EVER stop wearing this" and that is the kind of thinking that will inevitably leave them in the same exact place they are now and will always be.  STUCK.  Also, very likely not feeling very good about themselves.

I have spoken ad-nauseum about how what you wear impacts a first impression from others and also, whether you realize it or not, subconsciously how you feel about yourself.  When you remain closed-minded in your style, you become irrelevant in the rooms you are in and the rooms you are trying to get into.  As an entrepreneur who is trying to land a Client or grow a business, for instance, you may be wondering why you are having troubles closing those Clients.  Even after getting feedback from them, maybe they tell you that someone else won the contract because they had just a slight edge on something or maybe they can't tell you exactly why, it just didn't feel right.  Many times, that "thing" that is making all of the impact is your style.  

When you look dated, it is assumed that your skills are also dated.  When you aren't willing to expand your mind, grow your mind, and get out of stuck thinking, others will think that is how you will be in business and life as well.  In today's business climate that is ever-changing (and faster than ever, I might add), that perception will follow you.

How do I get "unstuck"?

If you are realizing that this is your paradigm and you say these words when it comes to your style, you may be wondering how to get out of this destructive loop.  It is going to take some work, I'm not going to lie because, as they say, "Old habits die hard".  Whenever you hear yourself approaching your style from a closed-minded place, I want you to think about something in your life that you know this is impacting and imagine how different things could be if you just reframed your thinking from "I will never" to "I will try".  You have to do the work and want to make the change if you are unhappy with where you are.  Otherwise, another day, same problem.

Remember these 5 key things about staying open-minded and increasing your self-esteem:

1. It's time to stand out and show who you really are.  If your style is feeling stuck, there is a good chance you have actually evolved, but have not let your style evolve at the same pace.  By staying open-minded and embracing change, it allows you to showcase your own personal expression of who you are.
2. When you fully allow for yourself to show who you are through your style, you will attract the people to you that are looking for exactly what you have to offer.  The fact of the matter is this:  we cannot and should not try to be a perfect fit for everyone.  Marketing 101 says that if you are trying to attract everyone to you, you will attract no one.  When you stand up for yourself in your style, when you self-express and stay current, your vibration will elevate and draw in people who want exactly what you have to offer.
3. When you update your style, you will notice that the compliments will start coming in. And face it:  that feels SO GOOD!  People will start asking you if you lost weight or what you have done differently.  This will automatically put you (again) into a positive energy and you will attract other people who are in a positive energy as well.  The more you surround yourself with people who carry positivity as a badge of honor, the higher your self-esteem will be.  You will get in the rooms you want to be in.
4. When you are open-minded to change, including a new style as part of that growth, you become relevant.  You walk with a pep in your step because you KNOW you are on-point.  You throw your shoulders back because you are confident in how you feel and in all that you have to give.  Your style relevance allows for people to see your skills and all that you have to offer.  Our external presence has serious communication power.
5. When you surround yourself with people who think like you, talk like you, care about how they look, and are in the same energy as you, you lift each other up.  "A rising tide lifts all boats" is a quote by JFK.  By keeping company with other open-minded individuals who are in a state of learning and growth, you will automatically continue on a path to growth, too.

If you are READY FOR MORE in your life and in your style; if you are ready to increase your confidence, your self-esteem, your self-expression, and your style capital, I would love to help you get there!  I work both virtually and in-person with women who are ready to step into the next-level version of themselves to bring in all of the dreams they have for their future.  When you work with me, we will co-create a relevant and meant-for-you style that makes getting dressed a breeze and completely joyful.  Head to my website to see how I can help you step up in the coming year!

Stylishly Yours,

PS - If you are inspired by this post, check out my guide and learn the 5 Tips to Great Style That Also Make a Great Impression. Let's take on 2024 with powerful style. I would love to help you shed the lack that you have been wearing!