It's Time to STOP the Shame Game!

 How many times have you uttered one of these comments:

• "I look so fat in this."
• "These jeans would look so much better if I could just shrink my thighs a bit."
• "Ugh, I look so bloated today."
• "Now that I'm in my 40's, I guess style just isn't for me anymore."
• "Maybe I will buy new clothes when I lose weight."

If you have found yourself thinking or saying any of these things out loud, I'm talking to you today.

As a woman who is in her late 40's myself, I have had a realization: If I want my body to be perfect, I'm going to be on the hamster wheel forever. It's chasing an ideal that doesn't exist in reality. So, that means that I will be waiting to make a change, improve my style, buy the clothes (and the list goes on) for, well, forever.

Unfortunately as women, society has not been kind to us. Media leads us to believe that the perfect looking young toned bodies on the covers of magazines are the norm and that's the only "sexy" that's out there. Plastic surgery that women in the spotlight have had done makes us think that we are somehow not good enough. Do you KNOW the pressure those women feel?  Do you know how much their minds must be consumed with looking "good enough" to remain relevant?  You realize their livelihood depends on it all, right?

We need to live for right now

Life is a gift and it is not guaranteed how long we will physically be on this Earth. It's time to change the narrative we have about ourselves and about our bodies in our heads.

We need to stop the comparison game.  Someone out there is looking at you right now and wishing they had something you had. As in...your life is on their vision board or showing up in their dreams.

It's time to stop saying "I will do this (insert action) when this happens (insert thing)." You work hard everyday. You go to work, you take care of a family, you take care of parents, you do countless things that you don't give yourself enough credit for.  

Join me in knowing you are worthy.

You are good enough NOW. Your body is beautiful NOW. It's time to show up for yourself NOW. 

I hear women say ALL THE TIME that they will buy new clothes when they lose the weight. Here's the thing: as women who are dealing with changing bodies that feel somewhat foreign, we often think we can no longer be stylish. We used to feel like we looked cute when we got dressed and now we are on the major struggle bus to find that again. It's not as easy as it was when we were younger. The go-to things we used to wear or our easy pieces no longer work for our bodies.

We have to learn to understand that our bodies are changing, but that doesn't need to mean that we, or our style are irrelevant. Maybe we just need a little help to figure out what works for them now. 

My Mother-in-Law has always been a stylish woman, she still is. That is how I plan to be at her age. She has always had a very svelte figure. She works with a Personal Trainer and while she has never had to worry about what she eats, she has always been thin. But even as I have conversations about her as she ages, she tells me that her weight is fine, but that as she has gotten older, she wishes she could move the weight to a different place on her body.  That's not possible without some scalpels and painful recovery.

As our bodies change, we MUST learn to love them for all that they do for us and to respect them and send positive energy and positive thoughts to them. Our hearts beat and blood runs through our body without us even knowing it. Air fills our lungs and we receive oxygen into them without a second thought. Many of us have been blessed to grow a child inside of us and put a perfect little miracle into the world.  We have to amazing ability to touch and feel, to smell a beautiful flower, to taste a delicious meal, to see beautiful colors, to hear the sound of waves crashing. Our bodies are AMAZING. We need to learn to love them as they are.

Part of loving them as they are is accepting the changes that they go through throughout our lives. That is why I am writing about this right now. I AM DONE. I am going to be very intentional about respecting my body as it changes and my intention is to make my style fun and to dress it as it is now, not longing for the body of the past. I have come to the realization that even if I lose a few pounds down the road, my body is not a young 20 or 30 year old body. And I shouldn't expect it to be. You shouldn't expect yours to be either. 

It's time to have fun with our style!  Let's embrace who we are and all of the badass amazing things we do, the gifts we have, and the life that we live. 

Here is what we are going to do starting right now:

1. Think about what you love about your body. Do you have great legs, great hair, or a beautiful smile? 
2. Practice gratitude for your body each day. At the end of the day, think about the amazing things that your body did for you. Did you take a walk today and enjoy the sounds of the birds singing?  Did you hug a friend and did it fill you with joy?  Did you laugh until your stomach hurt?
3. Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It comes in all different shapes and sizes. Uniqueness is a wonderful thing. What do you see that you think is beautiful in others and how can you translate that to the beauty of yourself?
4. Learn to "unfollow" negativity. If something brings you down or makes you second guess where you are in life, all that you have accomplished, and your beautiful body, click "unfollow". Maybe there isn't an actual unfollow button, but you can be intentional about where you spend your time and energy.
5. Surround yourself with people who love you as you are. This one is important. They say we are a reflection of the five people we spend the most time with. Do the people you spend time with treat you with love and kindness or are they constantly telling you something needs to change. Maybe YOU can help shift the narrative of your group. Change the topics to positive ones, including topics about our bodies. Let's create a revolution of body positivity!

Will I always be perfect in my endeavors and in my intentions? Absolutely not! Perfect isn't the goal. Any lasting change happens when you take small consistent steps. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Learn to recognize when you are feeding yourself negativity about your body and to stop it. You will get better and better the more consistent you are.

I'm DONE, I'm FINISHED with doubting my beauty. I have a lot to offer in what I can teach, what I can share. My body isn't perfect, but it's perfectly mine and I'm going to dress for the amazing woman that I am ready to bring to the world.

Are you with me?!  

Stylishly Yours,